Estate Planning

Dear Len & Rosie,

I am one of nine adult children. We have an 81-year-old very stubborn mother who owns her home free and clear, plus her personal possessions. She is a bit gun shy about discussing her estate, and she has no will. Whenever we try to talk to her about getting a will or a living trust, she always says, "Don't rush me into the grave." Her only concern is that all nine of us get an equal share of the house after it is sold.

She says that she wants three of us named as executors of her estate. Frankly, this really worries me, because the three of us have very different personalities, and we are spread out all over the country. I really want to avoid future problems so we won't have a big mess on our hands and wind up paying more in lawyer fees and taxes then we inherit. What can you suggest?